Movie Review: Scream 4

Back in the 90’s many good things happened.  Michael Jackson sang a duet with Britney Spears, the television series Party of Five came to an end, and Wes Craven gave us the horror movie Scream.  Tonight I was audience to the fourth edition of this franchise. 

If you’re planning on watching this film, don’t read this review.  Firstly, it will give away the plot, and secondly, well, just don’t read this review.

The film is based loosely around lead character Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) and her seemingly insatiable desire to return to the town of death where every summer a new kid from the local high school puts on a mask and becomes a knife-wielding maniac; which of course inevitably leaves Sidney embroiled in a new fight for her life etc etc. 

The plot structure ambled down the same trodden path, stabbing and slashing at whatever was left of the goodwill created by the original 15 years earlier.  There was plenty of blood, not all of it reserved for the victims of the movie, who, curiously, find it impossible to prevent a 13 year old girl from stabbing them repeatedly and at will (I mean - a simple slap in the face would surely have sorted her out?)

By now you will know the masked man is actually a 13 year old girl, who for some reason stands about 9 foot 13 inches when she's wearing her garb.  The scriptwriters perhaps wrote in the subtext she was wearing stilts - but she didnt appear that awkward when running up flights of stairs.  

Don’t worry though, if the villain doesn’t scare you, her motive will:  she decided to stabbity-stab stab due to discontent at her cousin Sidney getting more attention than she ever did.  Give you a moment to reflect on that...  Probably the poorest motive since the “Why not?” scriptwriters fall back on whenever their budget cannot extend to creative thinking.

While on script; it’s never a good sign when you’re 15 minutes into the film and genuinely anticipating the film’s first climax.  I mean, there’s only so many times the audience can watch a person get chased up the stairs and stabbed at the landing before it gets a little, well, boring?  The writers have sought to fix this malady by sending two victims up the stairs for twice as much stabbing.  Unfortunately the genius insight did not have the desired effect on this viewer.

Luckily however there was one moment when their attempt at shock cinematography paid off and my heart rate flirted with normal levels of activity; but for the most part the only tension was in Courtney Cox’s face.  Couldn’t tell if it was the plastic surgery or the fact that she was clearly uncomfortable acting with her ex husband David Arquette.  If you do end up watching this film, wait for the scene towards the end when Courtney Cox is in hospital and says to him “I love you too”.  It’s far more gruesome than preceding scenes.

To put a positive spin, no doubt this film has filled Craven’s coffers; meaning of course we won’t have to see it picked up, dusted off and re-sequenced for at least a decade (at which point the casting agent will probably have to dig up Courtney Cox and prop her into position).

And so, aside from the gruesome reality of Courtney Cox’s fight against ageing, there wasn’t anything in this film that interested me.  It was borderline cynical, and, frankly, I might have asked for my money back if I hadn’t been in the company of a lady.

I give this production a solid 1 star out of 5.  And it gets the star because it conforms to all the minimum requirements of being a film; in that it has a beginning (contentious), middle and an end.  If you like pain, pay to go see it.